Thursday, September 24, 2015

Broken Chains

It has been over a year since I wrote my last post (my only post hehe) ; and tonight I lay in the same place I was a year ago writing ... but there is one thing different. Today my weight is a little lighter..... no A LOT lighter.

Because I have found freedom.

It has been such a journey.. & I would literally write a book if I went through my life story and told you all the obstacles I have come across; and all the obstacles I have even made for myself. My blog would be over a 1000 page book if I went into my story about where I found freedom .

But the short story is; and the important part is  .... Wow. I am free.

I Recently went on a trip with 2 other ladies to St Louis Missouri. It was your typical Christian conference. and Typical I mean it was a conference with thousands of Christians praising and worshiping God, learning about him , and coming out refreshed saying that THIS TIME they will MAKE THINGS RIGHT with the Lord , AMEN ! lol... we all need those refreshers no? ha

(just thought id throw in a little meme for drama lol ;) )

Interestingly enough it wasn't during the "getaway" did I find this new sense of freedom. No...not at all , for those that know me I am too stubborn to go with the flow of things... but there were many points on the trip that God used to connect me to exactly where I needed to be . Actually there have been many points in my life that lead me to THIS moment right here.... the moment of contentment. the moment of freedom. But again - lets not get into my life story ...I will bore you

A friend of mine recently told me how a counselor of hers would have her draw a picture of herself  carrying a cart & on the cart were words that described all her worries.... and soon after she wrote out all her worries ..... she realized no wonder her life was a mess! That cart probably was 3 times the size of her body !!! Halleluiah,  amen she must be one tough chick!

Then I realized; I had a lot of worries myself... yes I worried about finances from time to time , and I worried about my health ( I have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia syndrome & Lupus) . But I had other worries that kept me from living my life . I put up walls .... I was worried how the world would see me , due to the labels that the would put on me !

We LIVE by labels... no longer are we just human beings but we are labeled every day in our daily lives...and our labels cause fights......heck even wars.... take for example these labels we hear every day.

Blue collar
White collar

Those simple labels have caused riots and wars. These labels have torn down mankind , broken up friendships and marriages. BUT then I thought ISNT HUMANITY MORE THAN THESE LABELS??? Why am I being tied down by this ?

Then there is another set of labels that are dear to me.... I Work in a hospital. I am a nurse. and I am also one who has been labeled chronically ill....these labels have sometimes even bigger stigma - those who are sick... or suffer from disease can understand how sometimes these labels take over lives...


.... Why are these labels so important to us .....???? as a person? Why do we sometimes let it CONSUME our lives? Aren't we MORE than our SICKNESS?

The last set of labels may upset some.... but then we have these labels.

Sorry I like lists.

My point is in my life I never felt free. There are labels in my life that I am proud of and some that I feel I am ashamed of and others I feel that take over my life in ways that it shouldn't . . . I was consumed overwhelmed and like those worries that my friend was carrying in a cart. I was carrying these labels ! Except I wasn't only pulling them behind me I was building them up all around me !!! I built a wall around my entire being , and I felt crushed. I felt insecure. I felt overwhelmed by the standards that some expected of me , even some Christians !!

OK so I think I got off track ;)
... So I went to St. Louis . A Christian Conference; but there I had also time to just
I spent much of my time in silence sitting by a fountain next to our hotel. and WOW I felt free.

There was nobody around me to label me.
There wasn't anyone that KNEW me that could think of past times in my life and judge me.
There was only the sound of running water, and the soft breeze running thru my hair....I felt free
...only then to be interrupted by every day life...

Once interrupted and I was back with the world my mind ran thru of all the things the world says I am and of all the things I was suppose to be , and all the things I had to do and how I was to act.....

well that sense of peace was short lived..... damn it.
(okay okay ...your labeling now because I swore and I am Christian , sorry!:) )

But honestly yall! the chains that were around my wrists and my body! It was horrid!!  I came home from the conference and the next day something happened that I put myself to shame. It was something so so silly but  I was so frustrated and angry. I kept telling myself I knew better ! and I am better than that ! and I Wasn't suppose to be like "this"! and my mind spun and spun... (it does that a lot from time to time)

THen all of the sudden God stopped me in my steps....and in my thoughts

2 Corinthians 5:17   
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

Then it hit me wow.... wordly labels?

I am NOT what the WORLD says I am I am what GOD says I am......

I AM A CHILD OF God. (Galations 3:26 - So in CHRIST Jesus you are all children of God thru Faith

...but wait a minutes
I AM REDEEMED - Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace

Romans 1:7 To all in Rome who are loved by God and called to be his holy people:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus ; Romans 8:1
I HAVE DIED TO SIN I am a NEW creation
By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?  Romans 6:2

I AM beautiful in Christ...
I am MORE than a mother, a  nurse , and a wife..... I am more than my illness's and my shortcomings. I am MORE than my illness...

I am NOT of this world I am from my FATHERS Kingdom. The worlds Labels don't matter ...what GOD says I am is what matters!!!

.... and In Christ I am free.

....and in Christ I am a new creation.

.... in Christ I am SO much more.

Gods word is alive & well brothers and sisters. and here I am on a journey ...this time Free from the walls that keep me chained.

Worldly labels don't matter.... what you are IN CHRIST is what matters. you are a NEW creation ... and just as its written

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my (Gods)  words will never pass away. Matthew 24:35

His words are what matters... . Be free in Christ. His ways are better than our ways ... His love is endless and nothing we can do will ever separate us from his love We are MORE than conquerors

Romans 8:31-39

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[a]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

So this is the beginning of my new journey in life . Walls broken down... Labels gone. What were my earthly labels you ask???
Well... doesn't matter lovelies. I am made NEW :)
and you can be too.

- Feel free to follow me on my journey  .We are all in this journey called life together


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The scenic route.

There are moments in one's life where everything just turns to a  standstill & for maybe just a few seconds ; all you feel is pure joy. comfort. love. In these moments I feel perfect peace. Everything around me; all the noise that tends to bewilder my mind just stops . It is like a sound proof glass surrounds depths of my brain and protects it  from any thoughts that could come and disrupt the tenderness of a moment that I am having a the present time. Those are the moments that keep me going .

I was driving home from an amazing trip that I had this past weekend. The trip was nothing but good. Personally I do not know how a trip cannot be good when you are surrounded and sharing life with those who have integrated their friendships onto your heart.


I was driving home. 7 hours and in pure exhaustion from the previous nights . I was tired and my mind was wandering back to the reality of my life . I am sure you can relate- vacations over. Reality sets in . Now the bills , the job, the stress , everything that you left prior to your vacation is now just waiting for your arrival at home. It really is a stressful thought . A thought that I am sure hits most people after a getaway. I am driving in unfamiliar territory in the eastern part of PA. stuck behind traffic , semi trucks, smog, and everything else that comes with modern America transportation. . . . and then I look to my left. and I am awe struck.


That is pretty much what I see (Thank you Penn State University for your picture ;) ) .
As soon as I see the beauty of the Pennsylvania mountains in the distant my mind just stops. The sound of the traffic, construction, the chaos of the road just stops & all I see is beautiful creation. Thankfully my friend I was visiting knew their way around the area and I give them a call - and after that - for the next 1.5 hours I was blessed with driving through the Pennsylvania mountains in peace that surpasses any understanding.

There is something about nature that always brings me to a place of tranquility. When you drive away from the noise of this world into nature. You see one thing. Creation. in its purest , most beautiful form. If you go deep enough you see it untouched by the human race - flowing freely across our vast earth . This my friend - is God's handy work. & this is where God gives me his peace... that surpasses all understanding.

I look in the distance into His creation - I see all that He has created. It's beauty, is astounding, His work is perfection . His creation is massive - and perfect. & I realize this - The God of creation, is the God of humanity & I am awestruck. The same God that paints these skys and constructs these mountains is the same God that has me in the "palm of His hand"  . Holding me . securing me  . guiding me.

( Isaiah 49:16 Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…” )

As I continue to drive - I am at peace- and the peace I feel - is only a peace that is found in Christ alone. I realize once again - That God... He's got this.

Philippians 4: 6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Lastly as I was driving I am reminded of one last scripture ; and I take it home with me never to forget it again...

Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to me (God), all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”